Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remind ourselves that all failed despots must eventually end their reign. While some may argue that Trump was somehow a patriot; I stand resolute that he is, and always has been, fascist garbage. Let’s take a brief journey to remind ourselves of all the gaslighting he put […]
Author: The Heckcast
Donald Trump probably altered those invoices and stole that $2.3m himself
It’s being reported today that our buddy Donnie’s campaign has been hit with an invoice scam to the tune of $2.3 million. I’d be joining in on the ridicule if I wasn’t so convinced he stole this money himself. According to Wisconsin GOP officials, an account paying for Trump campaign advertising had its invoice data […]
What the fuck is wrong with Mitch McConnell?
No, I’m not talking about his hideous necrosis. I already went over that a few days ago, and my research determined he’s a ghoul. I’m talking about how he’s a bad person. Like, truly. He’s an evil person, and I do not wish him well. Normally I wouldn’t just list reasons Moscow Mitch has failed […]
What happened to Trump’s “$200 Grift Cards for Grandma” vote buying scheme?
For literally five years we have been listening to Donnie go on about his imaginary healthcare plan. We’ve heard all his theories about the evils of Obamacare, including lie after lie about socialized healthcare in General. Don’t worry folks, the only pre-existing condition we collectively have is less than “two weeks away” from a solution: […]
I’m convinced Trump quit the 60 Minutes interview because he filled his diaper, prove me wrong
Watching this “leaked” 60 Minutes footage had me asking myself which reality I was actually experiencing. Was I in a coma? Was that black currant liquor my wife fed me last night poison, and I was actually dead? Well, surprise! It’s now been confirmed that I’m still here in this nightmare reality we are all […]
Lindsey Graham is pathologically hypocritical and deserves a spanking
“[Joe Biden] is the nicest person I think I’ve ever met in politics, he’s as good a man god has ever created” Graham said in a 2015 interview with Huffpost. The South Carolina Senator was almost brought to tears while praising the former Vice President, showing a human emotion nearly impossible for most reptilian-hybrids to […]
Which type of corporeal undead is Mitch McConnell?
A strange looking Moscow Mitch has been seen this past week with some type of rotting decomposition occurring in his hands, lips and face. I haven’t heard back from any of the scientists I reached out to for comment, but I think it’s safe to assume his body tissue is in late stage rigor mortis […]