Goodbye, Fuck-Face: A Wannabe Dictator’s Presidential Post-Mortem

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remind ourselves that all failed despots must eventually end their reign. While some may argue that Trump was somehow a patriot; I stand resolute that he is, and always has been, fascist garbage. Let’s take a brief journey to remind ourselves of all the gaslighting he put us through as a nation, and then rejoice at his humiliating loss last week. Join me as I say: Goodbye, Fuck-Face.


June 16, 2015, marked the beginning of our national nightmare. It was on this day Trump simultaneously announced his Presidential campaign, and called Mexicans “rapists.” His racist rhetoric has become more outlandish, offensive and frequent. Extremist white fragility groups have grown 55% in the United States under the leadership of our impeached President. Donnie went as far as instructing specific hate groups to stand-by on national television. “China virus.” “Muslim ban.” “My African-American” Join me as I say: Goodbye, Fuck-Face

Jefferson Davis II during the first debate

Trump’s only plan was to have total authority. His excessively frequent firings and demotions are almost always involving those who will not bend the law to his wishes. Starting before being sworn into office, when Donald demoted (or fired) most of his transition team, including sycophant Chris Christie. Yesterday, he fired Defense Secretary Mark Espers, who famously declined to use US troops on US citizens. Immediately following Esper’s firing-by-tweet, DOJ henchman Bill Barr announced federal probes intended to overturn the election. Fascism much? Join me as I say: Goodbye, Both of you Fuck-Faces.

Wannabe Fascist.

His presidency started off with a bang, and it has continued to disorient and confuse. The 2016 Trump campaign initiative to build a wall along the southern border delivered only 9 miles of new barrier by 2020. The heartfelt promises to bring home troops and restructure the military were completely empty. In fact, it’s entirely conceivable that his most historic military action has been calling fallen soldiers “losers,” and “suckers.” Join me as I say: Goodbye, Fuck-Face.

Donnie rallied his supporters around the removal of the Affordable Care Act, something he’s still currently arguing in court. This ongoing action speaks volumes to his depravity, considering COVID-19 has now resulted in the untimely death of 240,000+ Americans under Trump’s watch. Besides quack pharmaceuticals, his best suggestion has been to inject light and bleach. Trump has confidently rejected science, just as we have confidently rejected him. Join me as I say: Goodbye, Fuck-Face.

Whatever the fuck that means.

As Bunker Boy’s denial of the election results continues to humor the world, it’s important to note that he will continue to occupy the Oval Office until January 20th. Anything can, and probably will, happen: nuclear war, a heart attack, getting caught having sex with Eric; we must brace ourselves for everything. Trump has turned half of the country into cult members, and the entire GOP is complicit. These are people who think Rage Against the Machine speaks for them, and that Joe Biden is a socialist.

In order to have any hope of future progressive policies, we have to now shift focus toward the Georgia run-off elections. Mitch McConnell’s current death-grip on the Senate could be removed by electing both Ossoff and Warnock. Help Stacey Abrams achieve this by donating to The New Georgia project.

There is a long road ahead to fixing the damage Trump has done, but goddamn if it doesn’t feel good to watch his ass get fired and evicted. Even as he attempts to hang on to influence by forming a political action committee, join me as I say for the last time today: Goodbye, Fuck-Face.