Donald Trump probably altered those invoices and stole that $2.3m himself

It’s being reported today that our buddy Donnie’s campaign has been hit with an invoice scam to the tune of $2.3 million. I’d be joining in on the ridicule if I wasn’t so convinced he stole this money himself. According to Wisconsin GOP officials, an account paying for Trump campaign advertising had its invoice data manipulated to funnel cash into hackers bank accounts. Wisconsin is looking bleak for the incumbent, and it’s a state he only won by 23,000 votes in 2016. Doesn’t it honestly sound like the type of financial crime Tinyhands-in-Chief would dream up?

Robyn Beck // AFP / Getty Images

Take a moment and think about it. Hmm…funneling $2.3 million, where have I heard that before? Right, this is not the first time the President has been called out for funneling specifically $2.3 million from his campaign to his private accounts. In fact, $2.3 million has cropped up several times throughout his grift of the executive branch. Why are we supposed to believe this is any different? He always says the same shit, he probably always does the same crimes.

Changing times call for changing tactics. I truly think Donnie is feeling the election pressure mounting against him, and simply swiped this money from the accounts. I mean, he’s definitely going to need that money for the legal council on his 9 impending charges when he leaves office. We already know he has $1 billion of debt, another motivation for siphoning funds. What better way to get your hands on donated campaign money, am I right? Maybe he really is planning to flee? A true patriot move!

Maybe he’s planning a great escape to Russia, or his bff’s palace in North Korea. Ok, hold on. Do you ever wonder why he’s so close with all these “communist” leaders like Kim Jong Un, and Putin; and yet touts communism as our greatest threat? He actively pushes democratic leaders away! Don’t forget what Dr. Seuss taught us about America First.

Dr. Seuss

But anyway. How exactly a phishing scam was able to change the payment addresses on outgoing invoices is unclear. The GOP are most likely investigating themselves here, so we’re unlikely to ever know the real story here. They’re never going to prosecute anyone for this. They don’t want to. Trump is being crushed in the polls; and he is either being robbed, or he is being corrupt. Both suggest we have a broken man heading into November 3rd.

On the off chance this was a true hacking, a tip of the hat to the culprits. Vote the crook out November 3rd.