I’m convinced Trump quit the 60 Minutes interview because he filled his diaper, prove me wrong

Watching this “leaked” 60 Minutes footage had me asking myself which reality I was actually experiencing. Was I in a coma? Was that black currant liquor my wife fed me last night poison, and I was actually dead?

Well, surprise! It’s now been confirmed that I’m still here in this nightmare reality we are all unfortunate enough to live in! The one where the top White House advisors are Trump’s sycophantic daughter Ivanka and her slumlord husband Jared Kushner.

Erik Pendzich // REX/Shutterstock

In the video released by the White House, our tiny-handed commander-in-chief is shown answering a total of zero question from Lesley Stahl. After just 37 minutes, he abruptly ends the interview and excuses himself from the room. Maybe it was the tough questions. Or maybe it was the microwaved Big Mac with KFC gravy he probably ate for breakfast. Both scenarios, I argue, would likely result in a diaper filled by the 45th President.

Entire interview leaked by the White House // 60 Minutes

The whole interview is excruciatingly painful to watch. He claims that before the pandemic there was bipartisan unity. He makes a few unclear claims about Joe Biden and “radical left“ socialized medicine. He claims he has a healthcare plan. Then claims he will have a healthcare plan. Wait, actually, no; he says Obamacare is actually not Obamacare because he cut out the individual mandate, and that’s the new plan? Or wait. I truly have no idea what the final conclusion was healthcare. Everything Don The Con said was mind numbing.

Trump outing himself on Twitter

Trump laments endlessly about his unfair treatment. For a solid 6 minutes he cries about the media not reporting the unverified Hunter Biden laptop story. He goes on to deny calling for his political opponents to be imprisoned. “I never said lock up the Governor of Michigan,” Donald claims at one point. He did, in fact, call for “all of them” to be locked up just days before this interview was filmed.

A scared Trump spouts ”lock them all up” – 10/16/2020

The end of the footage contains several minutes of Trump mocking Stahl for initiating the interview by asking “are you ready for some tough questions?” It’s after this meltdown where I think the wet diaper’s contents were starting to cause a rash. The whole interview was a masterclass in gaslighting, and stench concealing.

Here’s a recap from Trump’s angle: I didn’t say that, everyone is a little responsible, I was kidding, worst political crime in history, you’re a disgrace, I have a plan, I’ll show you later, he’s going to destroy suburbia, this is why everyone thinks you’re fake news, diaper filling, I think we’re done here.

Let’s hope 60 Minutes puts live fact-checks in the official interview coming out tonight. Does anyone really want 4 more years of this? Vote the moron out November 3rd.

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