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Goodbye, Fuck-Face: A Wannabe Dictator’s Presidential Post-Mortem
November 10, 2020

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remind ourselves that all failed despots must eventually end their reign. While some may argue that Trump was somehow a patriot; I stand resolute that he is, and always has been, fascist…

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Donald Trump probably altered those invoices and stole that $2.3m himself
October 29, 2020

It’s being reported today that our buddy Donnie’s campaign has been hit with an invoice scam to the tune of $2.3 million. I’d be joining in on the ridicule if I wasn’t so convinced he stole this money himself. According…

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What the fuck is wrong with Mitch McConnell?
October 27, 2020

No, I’m not talking about his hideous necrosis. I already went over that a few days ago, and my research determined he’s a ghoul. I’m talking about how he’s a bad person. Like, truly. He’s an evil person, and I…

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What happened to Trump’s “$200 Grift Cards for Grandma” vote buying scheme?
October 26, 2020

For literally five years we have been listening to Donnie go on about his imaginary healthcare plan. We’ve heard all his theories about the evils of Obamacare, including lie after lie about socialized healthcare in General. Don’t worry folks, the…

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I’m convinced Trump quit the 60 Minutes interview because he filled his diaper, prove me wrong
October 25, 2020

Watching this “leaked” 60 Minutes footage had me asking myself which reality I was actually experiencing. Was I in a coma? Was that black currant liquor my wife fed me last night poison, and I was actually dead? Well, surprise!…

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Lindsey Graham is pathologically hypocritical and deserves a spanking
October 24, 2020

“[Joe Biden] is the nicest person I think I’ve ever met in politics, he’s as good a man god has ever created” Graham said in a 2015 interview with Huffpost. The South Carolina Senator was almost brought to tears while…

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Which type of corporeal undead is Mitch McConnell?
October 23, 2020

A strange looking Moscow Mitch has been seen this past week with some type of rotting decomposition occurring in his hands, lips and face. I haven’t heard back from any of the scientists I reached out to for comment, but…

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